Swinging House Parties

Since you may have the opportunity to get physically close with one or more folks during the course of the evening, it's probably a good idea to take a shower, brush your teeth, and (if necessary) shave before showing up. If you like to use your fingers inside your partners as part of sex, don't forget to clip your fingernails short.

• advice on hosting a swingers party
• The History and Future of Swinging

Even if you're a regular, it's usually polite to make a party reservation rather than just "dropping in", and to cancel your reservation if you can't keep it. For parties in peoples' homes, it's usually polite to ask if there is anything you can bring (e.g. chips or beverages). Arrive on time, and if you are part of a couple be sure you arrive together as a couple.

Generally the host and/or hostess will fill new couples in about party rules and etiquette, often as part of an orientation to their club. The Jacuzzi or hot tub, if there is one, is a good place to get involved in friendly conversations; most folks at swinging events are more than happy to answer questions and talk about their experience of the lifestyle.

It's a good idea for couples to stick together at the party unless they both agree that they'd like to mingle or play separately for a while; if one partner just wanders off, the other may feel abandoned or jealous. If you DO need to have a serious relationship discussion or argument with your partner, however, it's considered polite to do so away from the party in a more private area. In general, if a bedroom or other space is being used for sex it's considered impolite to carry on loud or extraneous conversations in it that might distract others.

The tradition at some on-premises clubs and party houses is for one of the larger rooms to be for the "group scene." Depending on the club some rules of etiquette may be slightly relaxed here; it might be assumed OK for someone to touch you unless or until you say no. Again, this completely depends on the club. Opening closed doors to bedroom areas and then just staring at whatever is going on is usually considered pretty rude, and men will have more fun in ANY of the party's play areas if their female partner is with them (some clubs actually have rules about men going into the "group scene" area without their female partner). If at some point during the evening you decide to wash up, be careful not to use somebody else's towel or washcloth on your eyes or genitals (this should just be common sense).

Using alcohol to excess is a poor idea, especially if you or your partner are just getting into swinging. Many non-swingers have their first quasi-swinging experiences when they are heavily intoxicated, and then regret what they did the next day or blame the alcohol for what they freely chose to do; try to make your experience different from this.

But without question, the most important suggestion I can offer is to always keep track of where you're at, and only do what you want to do. If you don't want to swing with someone, just say no tactfully and courteously. You always have the right to say no to anything, and if someone doesn't take no for an answer you should tell the party host immediately. In swinging, sometimes you will be told, "No, thank you." When this happens, just accept it graciously and don't inquire as to "Why not?"

Going to a Party?
Swingers parties are great ways to make new friends and spend an evening having horny fun. Parties are wonderful for first timers, unlike a straight meeting where you have the backwardness of nerves etc, parties allow you to mingle with the other guests and meet people who you might like to swing with. Remember that you don't have to swing at a party. The first party we went to was after our first straight meeting (which wasn't problem free), but the party was great. We made some new friends and had some fun.

So if you're thinking of going to a swingers party, the next thing to decide is what sort of a party do you want to go to. Some parties are for couples only, some are mixed, some are like orgies, some have playrooms for fun, some just use the whole house. Do you want to go to a large party or a smaller gathering?

What ever you decide, make sure you get all the facts before you set out. Most swingers are guests at parties, few actually hold their own (which I think is a shame), and those who do are good at it. Here are a few tips if you are a guest at party. hopefully, they'll make your first time go easy..

If you live far away from the party, make sure you arrange for somewhere to stay and make sure you have time to arrive on time. Many parties have a closed door policy, if you're not in on time, you don't get in. Remember the party hosts don't want their neighbours seeing naked people nipping up the stairs, so arrive on time, so the fun can start. Ask about drinks, condoms and parking and whether its just for couples or is it mixed?

Answer invitations, whether you can make it or not, its polite. This gives the host / hostess an idea of how many people to expect. When you reply, ask if there is anything you need to take, and any other questions you may have. Also let them know its your first party, the hosts should spend a little time showing you round and introducing you to the regulars.

If for some reason you can't go at the last minute, ring to let the host / hostess know that you can't go. They may be waiting on you to arrive, think how you would feel.

Bring a gift for your host / hostess (a bottle of wine is a good idea). Arrive discretely, cover your horny clothes with a long coat, until you get in doors, remember people have neighbours. Once inside always follow the house rules.

Go steady on the alcohol, a few drinks is fine, but getting drunk isn't ! Its easy to knock back a couple of drinks for dutch courage, but keep an eye on your drink levels. A lot of swingers swap between alcoholic and soft drinks, you can't swing with brewers droop.

Offer to help with the food and drinks if the host / hostess is rushing around. If they don't enjoy themselves, then they might not run another party for you to attend. Its easy to think that you're just a guest, but no one enjoys being a skivvy for everyone else. Offer to help tidy up after the party, (Its hard enough after a normal party) Big Task!

When it comes time to go, say your goodbyes inside, the last thing you want is the neighbours listening to you organise the next meet whilst you're trying to get in your car. When you get home, ring or e-mail a thank you message to the hosts, saying what a great time you had. This will makes them feel appreciated and it will get you remembered for the next party.

Above all, take things as they come, be yourself, enjoy yourself, remember to ask before you touch and no means no!

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